The falls and rises of the inept mechanics
It raises a pained smile to think that I wrote almost exactly the same title, way back on the 9th June 2009 of the ever contrary and temperamental Ermintrude. Having gone through head-crushing lows, and elated highs with that vehicle (and since experiencing similar with Florence) you’d think I’d have to be mad to invite [...]
Welcome, stultified reader to the uninteresting and hapless escapades of the Gores, as we struggle to try and persaude a fleet of unwilling vehicles to do incomporably overreaching things such as driving – forwards, and backwards. Many of these blogs originally appeared elsewhere, however now they’re here – enjoy ‘em, and post comments – and [...]
GoreGuide – Replacing Stub Axles You will require: A wallet The close proximity of Christmas A Machine Mart catalogue (found in all good bathrooms belonging to LR owners) The most pervasive, staining grease you can find The most inquisitive, staining Basset you can find A cagoule An incorrect weather report A heap of last-ever-use tools [...]
For those of you unfortunate enough to have waded through the stultifying swamp of my erstwhile posts regarding the ongoing, and hapless struggle against Ermintrude, my Series 3 Land Rover, you would doubtless shake your heads in wonder at any attempt on my part to make matters worse. In fact, given that going anywhere near [...]
Here at Gore Garages, the highly professional (and somewhat stiff-legged) staff believe that client satisfaction comes first. They appreciate the need for a first rate job, with first rate testing to ensure that these vehicles, on which people depend from the farms of Wiltshire to the jungles of Namibia.. Here’s a few of the recent [...]
One day in July Flex was heard to exclaim “All this stuff that we have, it’s really a pain, And because of that Landy we’re desperate for loot Next Saturday matey we’re doing a car boot” The week it progressed like a pain in the head With back-breaking lugging from loft, garage, shed And endless [...]
In the months since my last wearisome entry (in both execution and record, believe me), some benevolent folk have, presumably in the absence of further stultifying blog entries, sent kindly messages enquiring as to the health or otherwise of Ermintrude. These mails have all had a common theme; one of hopeful enthusiasm, making the (desperate) [...]
Those of you who I can only assume have inexhaustible levels of grim tenacity may have charted the desperate plight of the Gores in the seemingly neverending portfolio of problems that characterises Ermintrude ownership. The long and frustrating journey to varied and interesting places; some of them expensive, all of them time consuming, one of [...]
Sometimes in scruffs and an oily sun hat Sometimes in George (that makes him such a pr@t) No matter where he is getting quite fat This is the life of Tex Gore Ragged and bloody and covered in oil This is a life full of Ermintrude toil Blood that is permanently on the boil This [...]
Perishing hoses and unfiltered fuelling Idiot Bassets that with me keep duelling Baffling wires all tied up with strings These are a few of my least favourite things Blue series 3s that are parked in my drive Millions of noises that come from inside Doors that bend outward like big metal wings These are a [...]